Wednesday, August 10, 2011

"Your radar is busted"

One of the many things that I learned in my $75 per hour therapy sessions is that when it comes to guys I have a broken radar.  Basically I was told that if I consider a guy "my type" I should UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES date him.  She is probably right. For the past few years...okay if I have to be honest with myself forever... my type has been some combination of young, hot, stupid and poor.  In pretty much all of the relationships one of the four have been my last one I hit the quadfecta! So I have been trying really hard in this latest go around of dating to date outside my type.  The only problem is that I seem to only attract two types......the over 50 crowd who look like they have never ever had a woman in their lives and the under 28 crowd who start their message off with some form of "Hey do you want to be my cougar"  (seriously a few have actually said that).  So I have been trying to do things different this time.  Today I had lunch and dinner with two age appropriate men who have real jobs, kids and a fairly large vocabulary.  So how did they go? Hmmmmm.....well the lunch one went better than the dinner one but both were very nice.  And here is where my broken radar comes in.....I didn't leave either meeting thinking "OMG I want to have sex with him like right now!" I left thinking ok...he is nice....that was a nice evening. But he isn't my "type".  And it has made me think about what makes me think this way.  Part of the problem I think is that I don't think I am pretty.  On the inside I am still the geeky, ugly girl in high school who didn't get asked to the prom. So when the hot guy wants me it makes me feel "special" instead of thinking "yeah why shouldn't he want me I am freaking awesome".  But in my stunted way of thinking the "star football player" wants me....the only problem with this is once we are vertical I quickly realize that the star football player is stupid with a capital STU.  And spending any amount of quality time with him outside of the bedroom is like fingernails on chalkboard.  So I am always caught in a quandary...I am shallow enough to want hot and smart enough to be miserable when I get it.  So what is a girl to do....I know I could be patient and have faith that if I give it enough time I will find the right balance of hotness and smartness that will fit perfectly in my life....but patience is not a virtue of mine.  I haven't thrown in the towel yet. I will continue to search out men outside my type while still playing with the hotties for my amusement.  And I will hold out hope that in the end things will work out in my favor.  In the meantime hopefully I am bringing you all some small amount of amusement:)

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